Notes to Self for Next Long-Distance Family Car Trip

To my future, more-together self:

  1. It is not enough to provide a variety of healthy snacks and sandwich materials which would sustain life under normal circumstances. A “together” mom will forgo all illusions of healthy fare and purchase a variety of exciting kid-feed that can be distributed over the course of the drive to ensure maximum occupation with treats and less crazy-loud tickle-fights in the back seat.
  2. It is not enough to provide a variety of library books, suited to each readers’ age and interest combined with a DVD player strapped to my headrest with a bungee-cord which only plays movies they have already seen once a week since birth. A “together” mom will beg, steal or borrow personal Game-Boys or produce exciting, never-before-seen playthings and movies with no thought for her own budget or expense.
  3. Finally, alternating loud, yet ignored, threats over several seats for hours on end with your own uncomfortable, neck-cringing naps should be replaced with a variety of cheerfully-led camp songs sung by all family members for the children’s enjoyment, interspersed with lively story telling.

There you have it, my future, Together Self. Between me and you is the chasm between the Careening Van of Chaos and those beloved, family road-trip memories which surely, surely are just around the corner.

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