Am I prepared?

I love crazy talk. I love picking through crazy talk and finding the little gems of truth, or of more crazy. It’s because my dad was a crazy genius conspiracy theorist–and I mean CRAZY. While still a little kid, I was raised on debates around the four horsemen of Revelations and the identity of the Beast–like it was mother’s milk. My dad was always swinging between religious zealot and self-proclaimed apostate prophet. Ah, childhood.

So can I tell you I am all about orthodoxy? It’s my form of rebellion.

So, when my sweet friend tells me about a crazy alarmist prophecy email she got, I was all, “send it over, I love that stuff!” By which I mean, good for laughs, nice to see what the crazies are up to.

This one was some quotes in the family journals of a dream a mid-century LDS prophet had, which was alarming but not alarmist, but it was spread heavily with the interpretations and bold tweakings of his grandson, and then added to heavily by the emailer himself. End result? Don’t you know, there’ll be an inevitable, major war on American soil between the election and inauguration. Didn’t see that coming.

First of all, who cares? If you follow the counsel of the prophets to be prepared temporally and spiritually, who cares what happens when? If you read the scriptures at all you know the latter days aren’t a picnic, so boo hoo and get your food storage and have Family Home Evening.

Second of all, now we are for sure safe because I put it on my blog, which everyone knows jinxes it, so–no war.

But, the crazy talk did remind me I have an empty water barrel outside that needs filling, and I did forget to do my semi-annual food storage inventory at conference time (because my house was full of Pasadena scouts). So, I guess I’ll get on that before the election. Gotta love the crazies.

In closing, something we should be paying attention to, probably more than the crazies:

Gordon B. Hinckley, 2002:

Occasions of this kind pull us up sharply to a realization that life is fragile, peace is fragile, civilization itself is fragile. The economy is particularly vulnerable. We have been counseled again and again concerning self-reliance, concerning debt, concerning thrift. So many of our people are heavily in debt for things that are not entirely necessary. When I was a young man, my father counseled me to build a modest home, sufficient for the needs of my family, and make it beautiful and attractive and pleasant and secure. He counseled me to pay off the mortgage as quickly as I could so that, come what may, there would be a roof over the heads of my wife and children. I was reared on that kind of doctrine. I urge you as members of this Church to get free of debt where possible and to have a little laid aside against a rainy day.

We cannot provide against every contingency. But we can provide against many contingencies. Let the present situation remind us that this we should do.

I do not know what the future holds. I do not wish to sound negative, but I wish to remind you of the warnings of scripture and the teachings of the prophets which we have had constantly before us.

I cannot forget the great lesson of Pharaoh’s dream of the fat and lean kine and of the full and withered stalks of corn.

I cannot dismiss from my mind the grim warnings of the Lord as set forth in the 24th chapter of Matthew.

I am familiar, as are you, with the declarations of modern revelation that the time will come when the earth will be cleansed and there will be indescribable distress, with weeping and mourning and lamentation (see D&C 112:24).

Now, I do not wish to be an alarmist. I do not wish to be a prophet of doom. I am optimistic. I do not believe the time is here when an all-consuming calamity will overtake us. I earnestly pray that it may not. There is so much of the Lord’s work yet to be done. We, and our children after us, must do it.

Let’s get to work!

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