Gearing up to lie down

I’m trying not to scare myself about this week, but it looks scary from this end of it. I have tons of work at the office to make sure I wrap up before surgery and my last day is Friday. David is off adding four more states to his “been there” list. Noah has been yakking all weekend and although he was lethargic and clearly sick today, I thought we were over the vomit part but apparently not as of a few minutes ago–so all my bedsheets are in the wash. Plus, my bathtub is full of bleach from the Noah & Lucy Fun Bath turned Screaming Shower of Horrors thanks to some diarrhea. Thank heaven for my mother, who arrived with a full crockpot at dinner time and scoured my kitchen. I’d done 6.5 hours of housecleaning on Saturday but it didn’t look like much of anything had happened by this afternoon. Also thank heaven for the lady at church that played piano for me in primary and Kim for taking Ben and Sophie to church. I’m going to have to scramble tomorrow and go into work late, so there will be another docket of acknowlegements.

Ben’s symptoms have gotten much worse over the past 2 weeks, hyper, impulsive, tics, argumentative–I can’t say much has changed that I can point to as a cause, it is perplexing. However, he is doing great in school–I just had parent-teacher conference with his teacher and he got 8 As, 4 Bs, and one C+ (in composition). It is really fun to hear him speak in and translate Latin–it’s his favorite subject. Today we talked about fasting a lot since we’re fasting for his dad, and although I know (like his mom) food is the center of his attention, I think he learned a little about subjecting the physical to grow spiritually.

Sophie seems to be good, she can be hard to read. Her reading has really taken off and she is doing well in school, my conference with maw-in-law is Tuesday. The other day she was looking at Ben’s report card and said, “I never get Cs. Well, today I got a D, but that was because I forgot I was in science and thought I was at recess.” She really enjoys the Little House books we’re reading, and wants to start gymnastics, but I just can’t add it now. We’ve missed enough piano lessons in the chaos that we had to take a sabbatical. I feel bad about it, but I’m hoping something will change and magically make things more manageable–that Deus de Machina previously mentioned.

Noah is sweet and barfy. He is doing well at Lucy’s daycare but still seems actively troubled at my absence, which is rubbing off on me. It takes him hours before he starts looking me in the eye after I pick him up, and he only warms back up to his usual cuddly self on the weekends. He’s terribly smart though, and is doing great in his preschool(s).

Lucy is a woman of her own mind and although she can talk some she doesn’t much usually. When she does it is with amazing diction, not sure what that is about. She is a two year old, complete with mood swings and tantrums and meltdowns. She’s wonderfully coy and cute and also terribly smart. She seems to see Kari’s house (her babysitter) as some kind of wonderful play date most of the time, and even asks to go on weekends. But sometimes she acts like we’re pulling her limb from limb. Who can say what’s in that little head?

David and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary this week, complete with family birthday party on Monday with bowling and Chuck-a-rama buffet (Sophie’s pick). We’re taking our first weekend away alone since I was pregnant with Noah next weekend, thanks to local grandparents. We’re not going far, but it will be nice to rest up and reconnect before another season of crazy with the surgery coming up a week from Tues.

Life has gotten trickier because I’ve been ordered into therapy by a loving spouse and have been working on some other projects to hopefully help our future stability, so I’m staying up way way too late and thanks to the dumb therapy am far too aware of my feelings than I am normally. My therapist says I repress my feelings. I just think, life is what it is, it’s hard, and what’s going to happen is what’s going to happen, so what does it matter how I feel about it? I’ve been living with the motto “suck it up and deal” for four years, why stop now?

Apparently the reason to stop is that it makes you certifiably crazy.

Lame, stupid feelings. Very overrated.

Anyway, David also has some irons in the fire, and we need your prayers that one of those will take. Now.

The pace of life is like nothing I’ve ever had to deal with , but we are very blessed. I feel the Lord guiding us from one place to another and still hold out hope for some semblance of a promised land, however terrestrial it may be.

3 replies
  1. Purple Echo says:

    Not sure how Rachel was able to spread stomach flu to Noah without even seeing him? Sorry about that! Hope you are back to normal soon and things all work out for the best. Recovery from surgery is such a nice way to spend your birthday, eh?

    Shauna

    Reply
  2. Gina says:

    Do you think Ben was acting up in anticipation of your surgery? I know Christopher is like that. I read a book that helped me a little and might help a little with Ben. Did I already tell you about it? Anyhow, it is called Raising Your Spirited Child. Some was normal, common sense, but it also helped me to understand his intense, perceptive, etc. self. Hang in there! We’ll pray for you too!

    Reply

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