My new best friend. The doctor reopened the incision today, so I went from less than an inch open to over 4 inches open. Dave needs to clean and pack it 2-3 times a day and it should heal from the inside out over about three weeks. The Novocain didn’t work as well as one would hope during the procedure. It hurt quite a bit. It was really freaky feeling myself get cut open. Even David had to turn away in the middle of it, even though he had watched my c-section with rapt attention. When David turned around the doctor said, “Would you do me a favor and sit down? I’ve had to pick up too many men off this floor.”
The other night David was waxing unusually thoughtful about life and set aside his usual, stoic take on life (i.e., “Life is lame so just suck it up, shut up and deal with it.” This is not him speaking to me personally, but to himself—oh, and everyone else.) He said something like, “You know, sometimes people have to have to swab out their wife’s wounds. Sometimes people need to have their insides surgically removed. Sometimes work is overwhelming, sometimes there’s not enough of it. And then there are the good things—like Noah’s fat cheeks. Life isn’t so much about the big swings of good times and bad times, but it’s made up almost entirely out of the in-between times.”
He seemed to be saying that just living and having all these in-between experiences had value. We spend life holding our breath for the “good” times—yet those moments make up such a small portion of our lives. Life just is. We can boohoo about it or get excited about it, but it rolls on nonetheless.
It may sound like I’m mixing a little Buddhism into my Mormonism but you can’t argue with it: It is what is. Maybe that sounds like David’s “suck it up” philosophy, but to me it’s more just an “observe, learn and try to give thanks and trust in Jesus” philosophy.